My Mind Spray 14.5

Top 5 Rap interview lie of all time: Cage claiming he accidentally bit a prostitute's clitoris off via HHC magazine in the late 90s. All the more impressive given that late 90s Cage looked the sorta fella who thought a clitoris was some bloke who played for the Brazilian football team at the 1994 World Cup (hold ya head, Roberto Baggio.)

I hate when someone on eBay is selling a CD I want but they've taken a photo of the disc data side down on their mucky arse carpet. Who raised these melon-farming savages? I'd rather pay more and buy the CD from another seller than risk the CD turning up covered in dust and cat hair.

Let's piss off the purists: as far as 2024 old man-Rap goes, Brotha Lynch Hung's new single is vastly superior to Nas & DJ Premier's new single. Hung's single is a sleek evolution of his vintage sound, while the Nas & Primo song is so stodgy it's audio high cholesterol.

Rap beefs nowadays are just #content for Joe Budden, DJ Vlad, Akademiks, Adam22 and other such terrible gossip-mongering nonces to yap about. Still, if it stops Budden from actually releasing his Godawful music then long may his shitty podcast continue to flourish. How was it even possible to ruin the Pump It Up beat? Let some zombie-voiced wifebeater rhyme ONNNNNNN it, that's how.

Late pass!

G. Dep - Dollar Bill
(From DJ Ashknuckles' The Underground Railroad Part 1 mixtape; 1998)


Discovered via Instagram, a kinda proto-wavy pre-Bad Boy G. Dep deep cut. Apparently Black Rob was a big fan of this track and it lead to their link-up. One of those boutique reissue labels needs to drop a CD EP of all Dep's pre-Bad Boy jams; alas boutique reissue labels with good taste don't grow on trees like palm leaves. So, for now, you can catch this song where it currently makes the most sense - in my G. Dep deep cuts playlist, natch.

One very much 4 the Britz: grandads, we love you

Nine & Dex - Pecan Pie
(From Pecan Pie single; 2024)


Oh ok, so these are the two lads who ghostwrite and produce for the Road-Rap pensioners Pete & Bas (apparently they're their grandads.) Since the faces been revealed, game got real indeed: mans go back-and-forth like Neville & Carragher. Much like Giggs' Monsta Man, this is that old robotic futuristic Jet Set Willy crazy shit. 90% of British Rap is only good when it embraces the fact that it is, essentially, novelty music. LD and Youngs Teflon could never!

Pete & Bas - Mr Worldwide
(From Mr Worldwide single; 2023)

Generic list post: New York's alright...

Party Sparty whipped up a list of his favourite songs recorded for movies set in Noo Yawk. Great topic, lemme rock it: 20 Martorialist faves from N.Y.C movies/movie soundtracks which aren't on the Spartorialist's list. Very annoying that so many of the best soundtrack-exclusive Rap songs of the 90s were for movies based in California, but I guess that's the universe course-correcting New York bias or sumfink.

Krzysztof Komeda - Dream (1968)
Edwin Starr - Easin' In (1973)
Badder Than Evil - Hot Wheels (The Chase) (1973)
Curtis Mayfield - Do Do Wap Is Strong In Here (1977)
Keith Emerson - The Chase (1981)
John Lurie - The Lamposts Are Mine (1984)
Melle Mel & The Furious Five - Beat Street Breakdown (1984)
Arthur Baker - Breaker's Revenge (1984)
Madonna - Into The Groove (1985)
Beastie Boys - Desperado (1988)
Grand Puba - Fat Rat (1991)
Biggie Smalls - Party & Bullshit (1993)
Crooklyn Dodgers '95 - Return Of The Crooklyn Dodgers (1995)
Mobb Deep ft. Big Noyd & Rakim - Hoodlum (1997)
Vincent Gallo ft. Uncredited - Lonely Boy (1998)
Clint Mansell - Summer Overture (2000)
Harry Gregson-Williams - First Call (2002)
50 Cent ft. Young Buck - I'll Whip Ya Head Boy (2005)
Tony Yayo - Fake Love (2005)
Julian DeMarre & Heiko Male - Moe At Work (2019)

Related: if you've ever wanted a wordless animated bromance between a dog & a robot set in 1980s New York which features a breakdancing scene set to T La Rock's Breakdown then Robot Dreams is the movie 4 u. Best bittersweet buddy comedy flick since Brian & Charles, and the freedom of animation means they've been able to recreate 80s New York in a way no live action movie ever could. My fave movie of 2024 so far.

Born To Audiomack: G. Dep deep cuts

G. Dep - G. Deep Cuts
1. How (1995)
2. Blak N*gga (1996)
3. Automatic (1996)
4. Head Over Wheels (1996)
5. Blow More Spots (1996)
6. Dollar Bill (1998)
7. Everyday remix (ft. Faith Evans) (2001)
8. Gametime (2009)


Throw ya hands in the freakin' air and keep 'em there, G. Dep just got outta the box that's square. Celebrate the Deputy's release from prison with this playlist of G. Deep Cuts where he makes the gutter sound butta. Truthfully, this used to be my best of G. Dep playlist from 2015, but all the songs from his Bad Boy Records album have long since been DMCA-ed into oblivion and these seven songs are what's left. Regardless, this is still a playlist so hot it'll make you scream like you struck gold, that's cold.

**EDIT** added Dollar Bill which I've just discovered.

Generic list post: March 2024

Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when the "Madvillainy is #actually MF DOOM's masterpiece" brigade were out in full force again. I like Madvillainy, but never in a month of Black Sundays is it on a par with Operation Doomsday let alone better than it. Youse lot are some literal wrong 'uns.

Warren G - Dope Beat (1999)
Saigon - Favorite Thingz (extended) (2006)
Daya1k ft. Kiki Tha Prize - Good (2024)
Sexyy Red - Get It Sexyy (2024)
Level ft. Mouse On Tha Track - To Da Beat (2024)
AyooLii - Dumpin' Out A Zip (2024)
Rogue Unit - Good To U (Rogue Unit mix) (1995)

Bonus beats: sung the praises of T.C.K by Y@k Ballz and included it in this little playlist of legit jams by tragically unhip New York rappers. Put together a top 5 Level & Mouse On Tha Track singles playlist too.

Bonus bloggin': I'm gonna blatantly bite take a page outta Party Sparty's blog and use these monthly wrap-up posts to keep track of the best movies and TV shows I've been watching.

Movies I watched and liked:
Sherlock Holmes: Terror By Night (1933)
Offerings (1989)
Late Night With The Devil (2024)
Immaculate (2024)
Robot Dreams (2024)

TV shows I watched and liked:
Prisoner: Cell Block H (episodes 45 to 68) (1980)
Neighbours (new episodes) (2024)
Wanted (series 3) (2018)
Mandy (series 3) (2024)
How To With John Wilson (series 3) (2023)
Match Of The Day 1 and 2 (new episodes) (2024)

The worst TV show I saw this month (and possibly all year) was Michael Owen & Howard Webb's Sky Sports show, which was on in the pub a couple of weeks back when there was no football on TV that night. The two most charmless men in sports broadcasting, a field which also contains such titanic c**ts as Garth Crooks, Glenn Hoddle and Mark Goldbridge. Never have I more wanted Vladimir Putin to launch a drone attack on a TV studio.

Born To Audiomack: The Tragically Unhip

Tragically Unhip New Yorkers
1. Homeboy Sandman ft. J-Live & Kurious - Enough (2014)
2. Maino - Rumors (2005)
3. Blaq Poet - Bang Dis! (2005)
4. Y@k Ballz - T.C.K (2001)
5. Necro - Rugged Shit (1999)
6. Consequence - Alphabet Boys (2010)
7. Uncle Murda - Anybody Can Get It (2008)
8. Sen City - Cloud Surfin' (2014)


Continuing my one man quest to get Y@k Ballz's T.C.K and Maino's Rumors recognised & realised as 5 Star General classics, here's a playlist of eight legit choonz by New York rappers who are deemed tragically unhip. You ain't gonna score no cool points with any of these songs, but I swear you'll have more fun listening to this playlist than you'll have listening to the latest factory-farmed Alchemist EP with one of Earl Sweatshirt's trendy m8s ;)

Things To Do In Denver When You're Daya

"Yeah, my tank on E and my phone on 3
Drive slow, bitch, I got this pack on me
Got your n*gga droppin' all these racks on me
And I'll make your n*gga spend his rent stack on me"

Daya1k ft. Kiki Tha Prize - Good
(From YouTube; 2024)


Denver got slaps too, huh? Shit talk real big, hook real big, beat real regionally ambiguous, Daya1k's outfit real cosy. There's summat so incredibly sexy about a lass in a sweatsuit and a beanie.

My Mind Spray 14

None of Duke Deuce's singles from the past twelve months have quite hit for me, and I'm gonna attribute this to him developing a penchant for Doc Marten boots. When rappers start dressing like crusty punx, a part of their musical mojo vanishes forever.

More than any other genre, Rap songs are messages in bottles from the eras they were created, and the details wot date them are a strength not a weakness.

A.I is a wasted technology until somebody uses it to create a 1980s-set video for Ice-T's Soul On Ice. Best closing song on an 80s Rap album IMHO.

No spoilerz, but that new horror movie Late Night With The Devil really missed a trick by not using Andre Nickatina's Conversation With A Devil as its end credits music.

Speaking of movies, here's a rare picture of the Scottish darts player Peter Wright visiting the set of Ghostbusters II in 1989. Left to right: Ernie Hudson, Peter Wright, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis.

Warren 3

"Unbelievable how time just flies
Right before your eyes, but you don't recognize"

Warren G - Do You See
(From Regulate... G Funk Era album; 1994)


It's 1994, teenage Marty has just copped Warren G's debut album, and Regulate + Do You See are such a killer opening combination that I spend a couple of days constantly rewinding both songs and don't even listen to the rest of the album until the third day. Actual factz, shit really went down like that. Do You See went on to be the album's third single, and it's such a lush Slick Rick-ified slice of G-Funk with a streak of sad boi sentimentality at its core that it's now my favourite single from the album - no mean feat when the two preceeding singles were Regulate and This D.J.. Come to think of it, The Chronic's third single Let Me Ride is top billin' for me too. Maybe three was the magic number for Warren and his stepbrother Dr. Dre?

Three Warren G bonus thoughts:

* I've never heard Warren's third album. Stay tuned for the n-x-e-t episode when I check it out.

* Warren's remix of Slick Rick's Behind Bars has gotta be a top 3 remix which made the original version completely irrelevant.

* Warren & Nate Dogg's 2015 single My House remains a great example of L.A "you 43 and you still rappin'?"-core.

Berserker back!

AyooLii - Dumpin' Out A Zip
(From Dumpin' Out A Zip single; 2024)


I just had an epiphany and realised that the AyooLii songs I fuxwit are kinda like Milwaukeee's equivalent of peak 70th Street Carlos. The boi Carlos made Berserker-Bounce, while AyooLii makes Berserker-Bass. This particular song is Certified Fatter's first keeper since On My Daddy IMHO. No shotz @ AyooLii's backyard, but he is not a horticulturist of the Mouse On Tha Track caliber.

Completely unrelated: I had a dream where Jim Jones remade Kim Gordon's slam poetry fake-Trap song. Don't ask me why my dreams are concocting Jim & Kim fusions because I haven't listened to any Jones in months and I dislike the Gordon song. But in the unlikely event that Jim & Kim ever do collaborate then here's the perfect song title for them: My Friend Goonies.